Catching Up

After a 10+ day hiatus, I have come to the realization that I need this.

I need a way to separate myself from the reality of our situation -- just for a bit -- until all I hear are the faint cries of "Mommy, mommy, mommy..." over-and-over from our toddler once she realizes I'm not in the room.  Sure, I could totally do this hiding in the bathroom eating Oreos and sipping wine, but I think I'd like to reserve that option for the really dark days! 

As for updates, in the past week, we have welcomed home Virgil from the hospital!

I'm still spending most of my time at the hospital every day, which is getting a little harder as the weather is getting warmer.  I'm trying to not let the dreaded mom guilt take the reigns when I choose to take a longer lunch on the hospital patio or pick up Elsie to play outside until dinner...but [as every mom knows] it's ever-present.  The justifications for all my choices: mental health.

Postpartum depression and anxiety are at the forefront of my mind and I'm watching for the signs.  Mostly the anxiety piece.  I've given in to enjoying time with Elsie and Virgil at home vs. cleaning when they are awake...which leads to clutter...which leads to minor anxiety.  My worry is that this is only going to escalate once the other three come home...

Then, the real world comes crashing down and I come to the conclusion that I DON'T CARE. 

I think that the snowballing of babies coming home has allowed us the ability to adjust not only our toddler to the whole situation but also given a gradual acceptance into what our physical home is going to need to adjust to when it's full of babies.  Burp clothes randomly strewn throughout the room?  Only allows us to have one always accessible when needed.  Toys littered on all surfaces and square footage of the floor?  Welcome to the next 12 years. 

I'm just going to be unapologetic about it. 

That's a lie.

I'm going to apologize about the mess to every single person who steps past the threshold of our front door...but in the back of my mind, I WON'T GIVE TWO SHITS.

Anyways, here's a little treat for you before I do baby updates!

The hospital that we are at plays a lullaby every time a baby is born.  It plays throughout the hospital as the mom is transported from the labor & delivery wing to recovery.  Fortunately for me, they play the song for every baby, which means they played it FOUR TIMES!  So, of course, we had to record it:

Gets a little satanic, eh?

Erich was only a tish embarrassed at how psyched I was!  I'll keep my eyes peeled for more gems like this from the archives.

Last, but not least, BABIES!

Quad A -- Virgil Erich
Virgil is thriving at home!  He now weighs more than Jax and is only getting us up twice at night, so I'm convinced he is going to hold strong as "The Favorite," since there's no way that the other three are going to be as easy going!

His last day in the NICU:

First day at home:

He even let me work out!*

Elsie is IN LOVE.  She is obsessed with giving him hugs, adjusting his hat, and covering him with blankets (legs only).

This morning, Virgil was the only reason Elsie got out of bed!  She was awarded with her first holding session out of a million:

The other three are still in the NICU, which means they were together for Easter.  It was heartbreaking not having them with us for the holiday, but I got them together for some cuddles as a consolation.

Quad B -- Ruby Bridget
Ruby is just working on her high-maintenance eating!  She is gaining weight every day, but strides in her eating habits are needed before they start considering taking out her NG tube.

Quad C -- Jax Aaron
Jax is just working on staying awake for feeding, then he gets to come home!

Check out his naked face!

...but until he stays conscious, home is a no-go.

The background is the empty baby space left by Virgil.  Instead of us being sad for Jax, we are considering it his last hurrah for him having his own room!

Quad D -- Kit Jessalyn
Kit is in the same boat as Ruby -- just working on upping her feeding volume -- and has caught up to her in weight!  We are so proud!

In conclusion, all is well.  Balancing home vs. NICU time is a constant work-in-progress, as well as having time for us together and freaking ALONE TIME**!  Erich and I are being flexible in transitioning and are working on our communication skills.  By working, I mean I need him to communicate more with me and read my mind better...

*Yes, that is a Rock n'Play.  Don't even bother.
**I know that I need to kiss this goodbye, but one can dream, right?


  1. So nice to see your little one(s) getting home. Love to follow your blog.


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